Sad Day
I know I haven't posted in a while. My husband's step-mom passed away this past Monday night. She died peacefully in the hospital. Unfortunately, my husband and father-in-law were on the way to the hospital at the time and didn't get there until after she had passed. However, I truly believe that when a person dies, its the way it is supposed to be. Maybe not horrible accidents and such, but I mean when someone is sick for a long time. Sometimes it seems like the person waits for a certain person to visit. So I think she didn't want the men present when she died. It may sound silly, but to me it makes sense. Its hard to explain. When my dad died, he seemed to wait until the people who were closest to him were in the room. It was really weird because I have a huge family and the only ones there were the ones he felt took care of him. And I truly believe that he waited especially for my husband, who stayed in the hospital with him every night. He was trying to ask me something that day, but he couldn't talk and in retrospect, I think he was asking me where Chuck was. But I digress....
We had the wake today and the funeral mass & burial is tomorrow morning. Even though she was still on chemo for her cancer (diagnosed about 3 years ago) I never in a million years thought this would happen. Of course, when she got so bad in the hospital this time, I kind of expected it, but before that.....no way. And she was a fighter. She fought till the end. I have a lot of respect for the woman. She had been through so much, yet she still worried about her family and volunteered at a battered women's shelter, all while working full time through it all.
Wakes are a curiosity, aren't they? As one of my friends so bluntly put it, its a bunch of people carrying on different conversations that have nothing to do with why you are there, and there just happens to be a corpse in the room. Harsh, I know. But true. When I go to the "great beyond" I want one of several things and I will leave that up to my family. One....garbage bag in the trash....no worries. Two....prop me up with a martini in one hand and Dean Martin playing in the background. Three....(and this one is the most logical)....John Denver music playing throughout the service....no casket...just a memorial service but more of a celebration. A party. Either celebrate my life or celebrate that I'm gone. I won't care. Just have a good time.
My sister told me she saw an obituary in the paper today that at the end said something like:
"In lieu of flowers, please have a stiff drink and toast John X"
Isn't that just fabulous??? I asked her if she had that drink and she thought about it and said, "you know....I should". We have no idea who Mr. John X was, but hey, we're all for celebrating someone's life.
Well, tomorrow is an early morning for me. I usually don't do well in the mornings but I'll have to leave the house by 7:30 am to make it on time. With rush hour traffic, it'll take me probably an hour to get to the funeral home. My husband is staying with his dad. Dad has kept it together so far, and I just worry about him. He's going to be lost without her. But I know that he knows that Ro would want him to carry on and be strong. It's going to be hard though. When my dad died 4 years ago, I took it very hard and still can't get over it. And my mom.....well, they were married almost 60 years so you can imagine, she still can't believe that he's gone. They started dating when they were 13 years old! Life is so hard sometimes.
We had the wake today and the funeral mass & burial is tomorrow morning. Even though she was still on chemo for her cancer (diagnosed about 3 years ago) I never in a million years thought this would happen. Of course, when she got so bad in the hospital this time, I kind of expected it, but before that.....no way. And she was a fighter. She fought till the end. I have a lot of respect for the woman. She had been through so much, yet she still worried about her family and volunteered at a battered women's shelter, all while working full time through it all.
Wakes are a curiosity, aren't they? As one of my friends so bluntly put it, its a bunch of people carrying on different conversations that have nothing to do with why you are there, and there just happens to be a corpse in the room. Harsh, I know. But true. When I go to the "great beyond" I want one of several things and I will leave that up to my family. One....garbage bag in the trash....no worries. Two....prop me up with a martini in one hand and Dean Martin playing in the background. Three....(and this one is the most logical)....John Denver music playing throughout the service....no casket...just a memorial service but more of a celebration. A party. Either celebrate my life or celebrate that I'm gone. I won't care. Just have a good time.
My sister told me she saw an obituary in the paper today that at the end said something like:
"In lieu of flowers, please have a stiff drink and toast John X"
Isn't that just fabulous??? I asked her if she had that drink and she thought about it and said, "you know....I should". We have no idea who Mr. John X was, but hey, we're all for celebrating someone's life.
Well, tomorrow is an early morning for me. I usually don't do well in the mornings but I'll have to leave the house by 7:30 am to make it on time. With rush hour traffic, it'll take me probably an hour to get to the funeral home. My husband is staying with his dad. Dad has kept it together so far, and I just worry about him. He's going to be lost without her. But I know that he knows that Ro would want him to carry on and be strong. It's going to be hard though. When my dad died 4 years ago, I took it very hard and still can't get over it. And my mom.....well, they were married almost 60 years so you can imagine, she still can't believe that he's gone. They started dating when they were 13 years old! Life is so hard sometimes.
posted by Adriane @ 11:20 PM
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